The Script - Hall of Fame

Preliminaries. Results. Arrogance.

Aggregate for Preliminaries. I'm happy with this grade but I'm also not happy with this grade. I'll explain in the following couple of paragraphs. Now before you continue, let us bear in mind the fact that I do not give a flying toss what you think about my aggregate. I might be lucky, I might have been able to have fared better. I know and I don't care. It's passed, I can't change anything, let's just be thankful and let life move on.


17 is a good grade. This is based on the rather weaker effort put into the preliminaries. I put my foot down but I didn't floor it. This is probably cause of the fact that I am found wanting in some subjects (I lost a whole file of notes on one of them) but mostly cause of my constant inability to put my foot down , go into top gear and really gun for a top spot. It's been like that since forever, really. An Achilles Heel of mine. I'll really go for it but somehow just falter at the last push. So really the frustration in my life is too damn high. A good point brought out is that if I'm not in top gear and get a 17, that's pretty good. And it is. I just wish I could do better and really topple odds.


17 is a bad grade. Words of my friends and family. And of course it is. Considering it's a whole ten poins adrift, of course it's bad right? I agree that it's bad. Call me conceited, but I do self-value myself. I do think I can score better. I do think I can beat a few others along the way. I do think I can get better. For someone like me, not reaching my target of >15 is and will be a failure regardless.

I call it optimism.

I call it confidence.

But conceit is always the perception dancing around everyone's heads.

And I don't care. I don't brag my heavy ass to Sunday about how I could have gotten this, gotten that, how I'm not really trying and still get a good grade, how I compare endlessly to the good ones on how I'm /only/ 10 points adrift. How I'm supposedly on par with them yet I'm far away. How I /could have/ done better but "took it easy."

What is said,

"Yeah I'm really smart. I beat you all. I'm really smart and I'm just saying it loudly for no apparent reason. Here look at my papers. A little bit more here and I could've beaten you. Yeah you watch out next time."

What I get,

"I'm so smart I can't believe it. Here look at my papers. They are so good oh my god they're so good. Look at yours and look at mine it's so infinitely better. I'm so much smarter than you."

That is bloody conceit.

Let us bear in mind that this is only preliminaries. And I know that fact. And I'm sure everyone else does too. I'm done with all this bullwax and how I'm not intelligent anymore. I'm sick of being compared to someone better to fuel their ego. I'm done with being an average person. 

It's time to change. 

I'll say this here cause no one reads this thing anyway. My new target.

This is basically getting the top grade for each and every subject of the exam. Seems a huge feat, but I believe I can do it. And no one can take that away from me. I might be doing this for my ego. You probably think I do. But it's my ego. I'm not showing off to anyone. I aim to be better than I was before.  To succeed in this exam and be the hero for my own story. 

I don't need to "beat" anyone. I just need to beat myself.

Arctic Monkeys - Teddy Picker (2007)

Sense that isn't common. Ends that don't meet.

Preliminary exams are over. Yardstick for the upcoming real thing so far has been pretty okay although I think some papers have been scripted cause some of the papers were so easy it was infallible (unless you're really really stupid) (or you have no hands). And some of them are brick-pass motioning hard (although that's prolly cause I didn't study as well.)

So far, my aggregate stands at four for two subjects 1,3) which could have been better done. I think three grades between 70 and 100 is way too much. The secular grading system is much better in my opinion but that's prolly cause there's more application to it than a more content-happy ukhrawi curriculum.

Also I think a flaw I see is that the gap between preliminaries and the real STE is a bit too near. Either that or the preliminary papers aren't just gone through. Which should be done. Cause well, they're preliminary papers. And preliminary papers are supposed to be gone through. But what I see is a useful span of time used to calculate and collate and check (bargain for the more competitive arses) the papers. And that's a pity. I can easily spot the few awkward questions I'm sure a few of my friends would find difficulty in answering. 

Some even pretend there wasn't any preliminaries. What the heck. Arabic Language paper for me was a bummer. I never knew what hit me. First of all the comprehension was a bit rubbish. The summary was a guaranteed 20, but the composition. Oh the composition. I guess I'm just really shit at writing letters. Or maybe the marking was too strict I get that but it's a tad too strict. Students were getting all the wrong marks. I was infuriated. Okay I wasn't infuriated. But I did have quite the roller-coaster ride, from anticipation, to anxiety, to what-the-hell-is-this rubbish. I thought I'd get to know what was wrong but the comments were literally two phrases scribbled at the end. 

In any situation across your hopefully long and prosperous life, there's a few things you shouldn't do. Scribbling is okay. Writing in arabic, is okay as well. Scribbling in arabic, is totally preposterous. It's like a blind middle eastern doctor wrote a prescription for some non-existent patient. Cause yknow blind people can't practice medicine.

I can only pray there'll be a change for the better. 

In other news, apparently Eid won't be observed in my school. Now before anything, just calm your horses and bulls and dogs and cats and puppies and bunnies. I am gonna sit on the fence on this one (leaning JUST LEANING to the opposition though) cause really while it's a bit unreasonable on the school's part, it's too petty an issue to take up for us students. 

I personally don't see a real bummer of an alibi to disallow it and it's just not great to have a school full of unhappy students for so petty an issue. By now, should I be in charge, I'd have just allowed it judging from my rationale. Like I said, this issue is too significant to keep rambling on so let's continue onwards to the next subject at hand.

National Day Rally was on just now in my country and blablabla etc etc insert compliment for my beloved Singapore here. Now as you all know, the government here isn't perfect, there are a few flaws here and there for a nation over succeeding in so short a time. And of course I'm not okay with that, but I don't really see the point of going on a fully fledged complain rant. Sure, the flaws are sizable for a nation as ambitious as Singapore but hey, it's Singapore. The government burning your pockets is the same government responsible for turning Singapore into one of the best countries to live in.

And I get if if you're pissed, everyone has the right to and I respect that. But then there's the small bunch who are oh-so unbelievably ignorant towards issues pertaining to the government but jump on the anti-government bandwagon and go on rants. And for what?

To get attention.

To look smart.

To gain respect.

Look like I know my country.

Yeah, sure. 

Look let's face it you're still young so I understand if you dunno about these issues okay, in other words, I cannot give a flying toss whether you know about these things. Cause really, we have legitimate, diplomatic, smart, experienced and rational leaders to figure out these things. You on the other hand, should just yknow put your money where your mouth is. So yeah just take all that 'richest country citizens struggle' rant and shove it up your bottom.

I have to respect my government for what they've done for me. You should too.

Short dedication to Neil Armstrong, the first man on the moon, who passed on recently, my condolences, you were always a model to follow. Thank you for your contributions in the Space Race. Fondly remembered.

To finish things off, I'm planning to take part in a writing competition (here- http://www.rdasia.com/100-word-story) and maybe win me some cash yeaaah entertain a few of you still loyal to Reader's Digest. I hope to succeed in this competition so wish me luck!

To round things off let me just wish you all a happy Eid Mubarak and just generally have a nice day :3

Just Listen.

A Fallen Fighter, A Rising Peacemaker.

Once bent on being the best;
  Forgetting concerns of all the rest.
Every man for himself, my pledge stood tall;
  Until the day, I beat you all.


Always a guy concerned about the future;
  Never happy, nor content, with whatever he could capture.
My image, my pride, my dignity;
  All but what I saw was priority.


But one fine day, a very magnificent day;
  Out on a bench admiring the feathers of a blue jay;
My Seiko ticked no more, hour hand at five;
  This opportunity I took, which was a break from life.
A figurative sign I saw beckoning;
  Something I saw necessary amid all that was happening.


Then I saw, the chains of depression;
  Strangling a youth so potent and innate.
With uncontrollable sadness and damnation;
  A fallen fighter, lost in ignorance and utter hate.


A period of isolation, my guilty conscience chose;
  A placebo for the terminal freak I had become.
Friends and family, all that were close;
  I felt lonely for all were mum.


From here I saw the value in the money;
  To win the war and see my victory;
Sacrificing a few battles few and far between;
  A small wager so I wouldn't seem too mean.


So here I start, trying to make ends meet;
  A self hired fixer tasked to do a huge feat;
A rising peacemaker, save me from condescension;
  So may we live together in good cohesion.




So for you reading my lame poem here;
  I sincerely apologise for everything, my dear.



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