I stared at the fan blades spinning slowly as daylight shone through the window. I couldn't feel the light. I was numb to positivism. I'm stuck down here, and I've nowhere to go. My head was pounding like a pile driver on mechanical steroids. The depression was unbearable.
On the outside, I'm of course just a crazy guy.
Desperate to refresh my mind, I got up and inconspicuously left the hospital. No nurses were there to stop me, no doctor to restrain me. I didn't know what I was doing. All I felt was the insatiable desire to let it all go. My legs led me to the middle of the road. Everything freezed at this point. My feet were anchored at the spot where I stood. I wasn't about to move for a while. A small portion of my brain begged to move myself to safety but they wouldn't budge.
I have to do this, I screamed to myself. In my head of course.
Although shouting it out wouldn't affect my insane image. At this point my head was in such shambles I almost passed out from the immense mental disarray. I managed to keep myself conscious for a few seconds as I stared at a pair of headlights coming my way. The physical pain I was going to inflict to myself was the only way to block out the pain up here.I wondered then if this was all going to be worth it.
And then it hit me.
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