Three words kept ringing through my head that day. This, it and is, not in that order, of course. The 13th of January marked the day my buddies and I were to collect some results for some huge examination that could possibly have a huge hand in determining our future. So no pressure then.
This is it.
I decided the best way to kick off the longest day of my life was by stuffing my tummy senseless of food. So I starved myself the night before, and went to Seoul Garden the following morning with some friends and ate my heart out. The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and I did a damned good job of getting to my own heart and suppressing any forms of fear, anxiety and more fear with not-so-well cooked meat and ice creaaam, leaving the place bloated but content. I quietly tapped my ever-thinning wallet in my back pocket and tried to justify the dwindling thickness.
This is it.
The trip to school was relatively uneventful, generally because I was too full to work my brain, but particularly, I suspect, because I was blinded by fear only four minutes into the journey. Bad call for a king's breakfast? Depends on your grades, your Highness. Let's not go there. As the train slipped into dark tunnels, my mind was cleared of the nice green scenery. I struggled to think of things other than my damned results. Wonder how these tunnels were made.
This is it.
I arrived slightly late and slunk in an empty seat. Now I was properly nervous. Relax, relax and listen to the principal. Right ok. Yes we're the golden batch. Yes, yes, did our best, everything is a blessing, life is still rainbows and unicorns, all that jazz. I recoiled in horror every couple of minutes as a new subject was brought up over and over again T.T a certain team of debaters were honourably mentioned, apparently. Dunno what that's all about. But enough of all that, let's move on to the top tennnn.
This isn't it yet.
The expected faces came up as the numbers and names tumbled out. Tears, solemness, whatever. I did have a dying dream of one day making it up there, but sadly it wasn't my time. I was genuinely happy for my top ten friends, though. Knowing somehow somewhere I've helped them get up there is something I'm highly content with. This is my sincere congratulations, peeps. Good show^^
This is almost it.
The top dog in my batch came just in time to skip a seat and made his way to the stage, so that was amusing. Anyway anyway anyway, good job, you're still awesome even without being on the stage, more showers of praise and the whole thing was finally overr. Results timee. My stomach was a messsss. Slowly, students were called forward and collected their respective slips.
This is definitely it.
I made my way to the front and meekly offered a hand to my teacher. Assalamualaikum sir. Yes sir. Five working days to submit sir. Yes, of course. Thank you sir. I gingerly made my way back, hands in a slight tremor. Wait, did I just make out my math teacher saying my math was "power"? With a legit thumbs up? I guess that was a good sign. I dismissed it very early on. It was so faint and subtle I took it with the hugest grain of salt. Okok.
This is (legit) it.
/falls asleep typing the post out
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